Thursday, March 22, 2012

Lance Berkman is a good man. Jon Heyman is a squirrel.


Lance Berkman is a Good Man.  Jon Heyman is a Squirrel. 

             Lance Berkman, the self-proclaimed Big Puma, said in an interview “the commissioner extorted Jim Crane” into moving the Astros to the American League.  Later, sportswriter Jon Heyman wrote an entire article correcting Lance’s use of the term “extorted” and ignored the point Lance was making.  Mr. Heyman is a baseball insider for MLB so you expect a squirrel like him to take the party line.

             Mr. Heyman stressed that all the owners as well as the players union wanted both leagues to have 15 teams.  From his statement Mr. Heyman is imply that all the owner demanded it be the Astros, but that's not the case.  Again ignoring Lance’s point that there was no logical reason for the Astros, who have been in National League for 50 years, to go to the American League. 

            But no, Mr. Heyman can’t try to understand what Lance was trying to say, he has to focus all his attention on Berkman’s word choice.  If I’m in a bar making a point and someone interrupts me to tell me I misused a word and ignores the point I’m making, that person better be a woman or a kid or a guy much bigger than me.  Because if it’s just some wormy guy, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna put an end to that real quick   That wormy guy can bring a bat if he wants that’s not going to help him. 
But I don’t expect a toady like Mr. Heyman to be anything but a yes man.

          Why hasn’t there been any outcry against the Astros being railroaded into the American League.  I haven’t read one article about the topic.  The obvious choice to move to the American League is the Brewers but no one has mentioned it.  I wonder if that has anything to do with the fact that Bud Selig is the former owner of the Brewers and still has ties to the team.  I've learned from Mr. Heyman that Bud didn't "extort" the Astros.  I'm not sure the correct term, dicked over, screwed, Selig pulled a Sandusky on the Astros,

Let me debunk all the reasons given for the Astros moving.

The Astros don’t have a rival and this will start one between Houston and the Texas Rangers.
Besides Boston-New York, Dodgers-Giants, there are no other great rivalries in baseball.   So out of 30 teams, 4 teams have rivals.  So one of the reason given for the Astros date-rape into the American League applies to 25 other teams.
That said, I think Brian Stowe, the Giants fan beaten into a coma last year at opening day by two Dodger fans, might not agree with the Mr. Selig that a team needs a rival. 

The Astros are Closest to The West Coast So Travel Wise it Makes Sense?
Actually that isn’t true at all.   If your desire is to ease the travel schedule for the teams then the Brewers need to move back to the American League.  They could move back to the Central and be within driving distances to everyone in their division. 
That would free up the Royals to return to the American League West.  The Royals are in Kansas City, which is actually closer to all the teams in the American League West than Houston.  

            So, Mr. Heyman, I’m sure I’ve made some grammatical errors you can wrap yourself in and ignore what I’m saying, but I’m not like that.  I choose to try to understand what a man is saying and not how he says it.  But I know you, you’ll say I’m anti-semantic. 
You’re probably right.


  1. Brian Stow is a Giants fan beaten by Dodger Fans.

  2. My correction. A giants fan. I'll change it. Thanks for reading.

  3. I'm a Brewers fan and even I know the whole reason they moved to the NL in the first place was to line Crooked Bud's pockets just before he sold the team. That being said, the best team to move to the AL would have been the Rockies - they're the closest to the West Coast, the thin air would benefit DHs, they're one of the newer teams in baseball and don't have the NL tradition the Astros have. Besides - my Brewers will now come to Texas rarely, if ever, after this season.

  4. Colorado is another more reasonable choice and makes perfect sense. Got nothing against the Brewers, it's Bud Selig. For every good thing he does, the wild card playoff system, inter-league play he screws up twice as much. To make the All-Star game count towards the World Series is silly and something a child or uninformed mother would come up with. Forcing the Astros to close the roof during the World Series, or playing a home game in Miller Park against the Cubs, overthinking and ruining the All-Star game in 2002, it just ended. The list goes on and on.