Happy Belated Birthday Fenway Park

Happy Belated Birthday Fenway Park

I was talking to one of my readers, (I’m down to one) and they were surprised I didn’t talk about the 100^th anniversary of Fenway Park.  There’s a very good reason.  Those guys running the Red Sox gave me the high hat.

I wrote up some brilliant promotional ideas for their 100^th Anniversary and they didn’t use one of them.  I sent e-mails; I made phone calls but was told one excuse after another.  First “they were in a meeting”, next time “they just stepped away from their desk” and then “we’ve filed a harassment complaint with the Boston Police against you.  Please stop calling.”

So if you’re a Boston fan, here are some of the great promotions you’re missing out for Fenway’s 100^th birthday.

Long White Beard Night – Nothing screams 100 years old like a nice Rip Van Winkle beard.  Now imagine a whole stadium of long white beards.   That sounds like the greatest night ever.

Roll Back the Food Clock:  Every Tuesday home game, concession prices are what they were in 1912.  Nickel beer.  Dime hotdogs.  I think the fans would appreciate that.  We also make an announcement that fans should drink responsibly which will protect from any binge drinking death lawsuits.

Grudge Night:  Pedro – Don Zimmer rematch – I know some guys over at WWF and we can choreograph a match, we’ll make sure Pedro wins.  We also have a contest where a fan wins a chance to wrestle Bucky Dent.  I heard he’s hard up for money.  For the kids, get someone to dress up like the giant baseball that went through his legs and let Bill Buckner grab a bat, chase it around and beat the crap out of it.

President Taft Look-a-Like Contest – In 1912, William Taft was President and he was also a big fat guy.  So we have a look-a-like contest and choose the best 25.  I know what you’re saying, look-a-like contest are boring, but here’s the twist.  After the game the 25 guys are taken out to a field and they think they’re getting a prize, but they’re given fungo bats and they must fight until only one fat guy is standing.  If they refuse to fight we release a pack of German Shepherds onto the field.  The Fenway faithful will love this.

Father’s Day Promotion –  To help bring awareness to a disease that effects older gentlemen you have free Prostate exam.  Early detection is the key and most people don’t want to get this exam that’s why it will be mandatory for admission to the game. 

Note: Do thorough back-ground checks on people performing exams or at the very least make sure they’re doctors.

So when you go to Fenway this year and get stuck with a Bobby Valentine bobble-head, don't blame me. 

Baseball Card Friday: 1964 Jim Umbricht, Houston Colt .45’s

My buddy Frank gave me this Jim Umbricht card and there are many reasons to love it.

First, it’s the Houston Colt .45’s  and Jim is rockin’ a windbreaker under his jersey.

Second, you can see the Texas flag on his sleeve.  Who doesn’t love Texas?

Third, No it’s not Topps first TRADED series, it’s a miss-cut.  You can see the card below it on the sheet, belonging to Red Sox 1^st baseman Dick Stuart, nicknamed Dr. Strange-glove, because of poor fielding ability. 

But the best reason to love this card is Jim Umbricht’s fun fact on the back of his card.

That’s pretty heavy to lay on a little kid.  Imagine you’re 8 years old and hoping to get a Mickey Mantle card and you find out that everyone dies..  This is supposed to be a fun hobby and now you’re forced to deal with mortality.

Jim was diagnosed with a melanoma in his leg before the 63 season, but still managed to pitch the entire season.   In the off season his health deteriorated and he passed away at the age of 33.

2 cool things that happened to Jim after his death; the Astros retired his jersey number (32) and they spread his ashes at the construction site of the Astrodome.  

Have a good weekend.

Going under the Knife

Major League pitcher Tommy John

I just got back from my annual check-up and my Doctor told me I have to have Tommy John surgery on my penis.  Yeah, my member is so large it has an elbow.  Doc says this weekend he's going to take a tendon from my hamstring graft it in and odds are I'll have better velocity than before.  I'll have to go on the 15-day DL but Doc says before I know it, I'll be up and making my wife walk bow-legged again. 

Tip of the Hat to Chipper Jones

The 2012 victory lap for Chipper Jones has begun.  Mr. Jones is retiring at the end of the season and today he's making his last regular season appearance at Dodger Stadium.   Yesterday on his 40th birthday he went deep against the Dodgers.  What a cool way to celebrate your birthday.

I dig victory laps.  I was in Shea Stadium when Craig Biggio had his last at bat there and all the fans gave him a nice ovation.

I was at Dodger Stadium when Bobby Cox coached his last game there and he got a big ovation.

Chipper Jones is old school, playing for the same team his entire career and putting up solid numbers the entire time.  Mr. Jones and the Atlanta Braves were a thorn in the Astros side for the entire 90's.

I'm bummed I won't be there today for his Dodger Stadium send off because Mr. Jones has been a treat to watch for the last 19 years.

Baseball Card Theater - Off Season Jobs

Back in the day baseball players worked in the off season to pay the bills.  Some guys sold insurance or automobiles.  Ted Williams was a fighter pilot.  How cool is that?

On today's episode of Baseball Card Theater we take a look at player's off seasons job.  Enjoy.

The Ghost of Babe Ruth

I stayed in a hotel this weekend and I was getting ready for bed when I felt a presence in the room.  I looked up and there stood the ghost of Babe Ruth.   Mr. Ruth was dressed in his Yankee uniform, he smiled and began to speak.

             “Kid, I didn’t need performing enhancing drugs to help me hit home runs.  You make sure the people know that.”

            “Everybody knows that Babe.”

            “I also didn’t need any Viagra to help me slip the hot dog to a pretty girl either.”

            “Okay.”

            “You make sure everybody knows that too.  Can you do that for me, kid?”

            “I guess.”

And just like that, the Sultan of Swing turns around, pees in the corner, then vanishes.

The next morning I woke up hungover and thought it was just a dream but then I noticed the mini bar was completely empty.  I jumped up and checked and sure enough, someone peed in the corner.

That’s when I knew;  It really was the ghost of Babe Ruth. 

Baseball Card Friday: 1963 Bud Daley, New York Yankees

In honor of 4-20, we take a look at not only a man, but also the mantra of “The Dude”, yes it’s Bud Daley.  It’s his 1963 card, which is one of my favorite years.

Other than having one of the greatest names in baseball, Bud Daley was a knuckle ball pitcher, two-time all-star and got a World Series ring in 1961 with the New York Yankees.

In the sixties I don’t think marijuana was referred to as ‘bud’, but Budweiser was the most popular beer at the time, which means this guy’s name has meant  “party daily” his entire life.

God bless Bud Daley.  Bubbling sound… exhale…  cough.

http://youtu.be/iAni_kr3XU0

I did a baseball card theater last year for the 4-20 team.  If you haven't seen it you should check it out.   Johnny Bench, Eric Gagne, and Bake McBride all made the team.