Monday, April 30, 2012

Happy Belated Birthday Fenway Park

Happy Belated Birthday Fenway Park

I was talking to one of my readers, (I’m down to one) and they were surprised I didn’t talk about the 100th anniversary of Fenway Park.  There’s a very good reason.  Those guys running the Red Sox gave me the high hat.
I wrote up some brilliant promotional ideas for their 100th Anniversary and they didn’t use one of them.  I sent e-mails; I made phone calls but was told one excuse after another.  First “they were in a meeting”, next time “they just stepped away from their desk” and then “we’ve filed a harassment complaint with the Boston Police against you.  Please stop calling.”

So if you’re a Boston fan, here are some of the great promotions you’re missing out for Fenway’s 100th birthday.

Long White Beard Night – Nothing screams 100 years old like a nice Rip Van Winkle beard.  Now imagine a whole stadium of long white beards.   That sounds like the greatest night ever.

Roll Back the Food Clock:  Every Tuesday home game, concession prices are what they were in 1912.  Nickel beer.  Dime hotdogs.  I think the fans would appreciate that.  We also make an announcement that fans should drink responsibly which will protect from any binge drinking death lawsuits.

Grudge Night:  Pedro – Don Zimmer rematch – I know some guys over at WWF and we can choreograph a match, we’ll make sure Pedro wins.  We also have a contest where a fan wins a chance to wrestle Bucky Dent.  I heard he’s hard up for money.  For the kids, get someone to dress up like the giant baseball that went through his legs and let Bill Buckner grab a bat, chase it around and beat the crap out of it.

President Taft Look-a-Like Contest – In 1912, William Taft was President and he was also a big fat guy.  So we have a look-a-like contest and choose the best 25.  I know what you’re saying, look-a-like contest are boring, but here’s the twist.  After the game the 25 guys are taken out to a field and they think they’re getting a prize, but they’re given fungo bats and they must fight until only one fat guy is standing.  If they refuse to fight we release a pack of German Shepherds onto the field.  The Fenway faithful will love this.

Father’s Day Promotion –  To help bring awareness to a disease that effects older gentlemen you have free Prostate exam.  Early detection is the key and most people don’t want to get this exam that’s why it will be mandatory for admission to the game
Note: Do thorough back-ground checks on people performing exams or at the very least make sure they’re doctors.

So when you go to Fenway this year and get stuck with a Bobby Valentine bobble-head, don't blame me. 

Friday, April 27, 2012

Baseball Card Friday: 1964 Jim Umbricht, Houston Colt .45’s

My buddy Frank gave me this Jim Umbricht card and there are many reasons to love it.
First, it’s the Houston Colt .45’s  and Jim is rockin’ a windbreaker under his jersey.
Second, you can see the Texas flag on his sleeve.  Who doesn’t love Texas?
Third, No it’s not Topps first TRADED series, it’s a miss-cut.  You can see the card below it on the sheet, belonging to Red Sox 1st baseman Dick Stuart, nicknamed Dr. Strange-glove, because of poor fielding ability. 
But the best reason to love this card is Jim Umbricht’s fun fact on the back of his card.
That’s pretty heavy to lay on a little kid.  Imagine you’re 8 years old and hoping to get a Mickey Mantle card and you find out that everyone dies..  This is supposed to be a fun hobby and now you’re forced to deal with mortality.
Jim was diagnosed with a melanoma in his leg before the 63 season, but still managed to pitch the entire season.   In the off season his health deteriorated and he passed away at the age of 33.
2 cool things that happened to Jim after his death; the Astros retired his jersey number (32) and they spread his ashes at the construction site of the Astrodome.  
Have a good weekend.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Going under the Knife

Major League pitcher Tommy John

I just got back from my annual check-up and my Doctor told me I have to have Tommy John surgery on my penis.  Yeah, my member is so large it has an elbow.  Doc says this weekend he's going to take a tendon from my hamstring graft it in and odds are I'll have better velocity than before.  I'll have to go on the 15-day DL but Doc says before I know it, I'll be up and making my wife walk bow-legged again. 

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Tip of the Hat to Chipper Jones

The 2012 victory lap for Chipper Jones has begun.  Mr. Jones is retiring at the end of the season and today he's making his last regular season appearance at Dodger Stadium.   Yesterday on his 40th birthday he went deep against the Dodgers.  What a cool way to celebrate your birthday.

I dig victory laps.  I was in Shea Stadium when Craig Biggio had his last at bat there and all the fans gave him a nice ovation.

I was at Dodger Stadium when Bobby Cox coached his last game there and he got a big ovation.

Chipper Jones is old school, playing for the same team his entire career and putting up solid numbers the entire time.  Mr. Jones and the Atlanta Braves were a thorn in the Astros side for the entire 90's.

I'm bummed I won't be there today for his Dodger Stadium send off because Mr. Jones has been a treat to watch for the last 19 years.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Baseball Card Theater - Off Season Jobs

Back in the day baseball players worked in the off season to pay the bills.  Some guys sold insurance or automobiles.  Ted Williams was a fighter pilot.  How cool is that?

On today's episode of Baseball Card Theater we take a look at player's off seasons job.  Enjoy.

Monday, April 23, 2012

The Ghost of Babe Ruth

I stayed in a hotel this weekend and I was getting ready for bed when I felt a presence in the room.  I looked up and there stood the ghost of Babe Ruth.   Mr. Ruth was dressed in his Yankee uniform, he smiled and began to speak.
             “Kid, I didn’t need performing enhancing drugs to help me hit home runs.  You make sure the people know that.”
            “Everybody knows that Babe.”
            “I also didn’t need any Viagra to help me slip the hot dog to a pretty girl either.”
            “You make sure everybody knows that too.  Can you do that for me, kid?”
            “I guess.”
And just like that, the Sultan of Swing turns around, pees in the corner, then vanishes.
The next morning I woke up hungover and thought it was just a dream but then I noticed the mini bar was completely empty.  I jumped up and checked and sure enough, someone peed in the corner.
That’s when I knew;  It really was the ghost of Babe Ruth. 

Friday, April 20, 2012

Baseball Card Friday: 1963 Bud Daley, New York Yankees

In honor of 4-20, we take a look at not only a man, but also the mantra of “The Dude”, yes it’s Bud Daley.  It’s his 1963 card, which is one of my favorite years.
Other than having one of the greatest names in baseball, Bud Daley was a knuckle ball pitcher, two-time all-star and got a World Series ring in 1961 with the New York Yankees.
In the sixties I don’t think marijuana was referred to as ‘bud’, but Budweiser was the most popular beer at the time, which means this guy’s name has meant  “party daily” his entire life.
God bless Bud Daley.  Bubbling sound… exhale…  cough.
I did a baseball card theater last year for the 4-20 team.  If you haven't seen it you should check it out.   Johnny Bench, Eric Gagne, and Bake McBride all made the team.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Super Fan: Pat Shannon

Pat Shannon, pictured yesterday at Nationals Park, attending a game between the Astros and the Washington Nationals.  The number 1 has nothing to do with the game, it has to do with Pat Shannon being the first Shannon to see a game at Nationals Park.  A very juvenile thing for a grown man to do.   
I’m a grown man and that pictured bugged me.  It makes me smile, but I feel my ears getting warm from being burned.
Why is it so important to be the first one in?  It just is. Me and my brothers have been doing this forever.  It’s evolved over the years. 
When it started we had to use pay phones inside the stadium to bust each others balls, then cell phones, now cell phone pictures.
The best is when we go together to a new stadium. If my brother Charlie got in first, he would do a big victory dance on the other side of the turnstile.  When we went to County Stadium in Milwaukee, I pushed Pat right before we got to the gate so I could be the first one in.  He was mad for the first 3 innings.

Here’s Pat becoming the 2nd Shannon ever inside SafeCo Field in Seattle.    Luckily I was already inside the stadium to capture this historic moment.
The best new stadium coup was pulled off by my sister, Cyntiha.   She sent this postcard to everyone of us.  

Man, I didn't even know she was playing. 

True Fun Facts about today's Super Fan
-Pat got a baseball that Willie Mays threw into the stands at the Astrodome.
-Pat attended the Mike Scott no-hitter and watched the first 6 innings before he was arrested for Public Intoxication.
- Pat once took out a dip and bounced it off Tommy Lasorda’s uniform.
-Pat was thrown out of a wrestling match for spitting on King Kong Bundy, he snuck back in and did something else and was thrown out again.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Free Moustache Ride

Welcome moustache lovers! 

Today I present the first episode of Baseball Card Theater for the 2012 Season.  This marks number 20 in the series and if you haven't checked them out, you should.  I have a youtube channel, tseanshannon, where you can see them. 

I plan on doing one new episode a week for the remainder of the season. 
This one is all about facial hair.   So hop aboard and enjoy a free moustache ride.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

It's official. Bobby Valentine is a squirrel

Take a good look.  It's a picture of Boston Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine.
When I started this blog back in March of 2012 my first post was about Mr. Valentine.

They say Bobby Valentine is a "love him" or "hate him" type of guy.  I don't know enough about the guy to register a strong emotion about him.  But he seems like a squirrel. 

It's no longer up for debate.  Bobby Valentine is a squirrel.

Mr. Valentine made it official when he trashed Kevin Youkilis in the press and questioned his physical and emotional involvement so far this year.  Only a squirrel would trash one of his players in the press.

Thanks to Moneyball, Mr. Youkilis is known as the Greek God of Walks.  I've always thought, as nicknames go, it sounds too gay, especially if it's a guy giving you the nickname.  Anyway, Mr. Youkilis is a gritty player and I've never suspected a lack of desire in his play, but I'm not the manager.

If I was the manager and Mr. Youkilis lacked focus, I would talk with him and try to figure out what was going on.  If he told me "to go F myself", I still wouldn't have gone to the press.

But I'm not a squirrel.  Me, I'm Joe Cool.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Mickey Mantle = J.D. Martinez?

Yes my friends, I'm comparing the great Mickey Mantel to J.D. Martinez, an outfielder for the Astros who hasn't played a full season in the majors.  Why?  Because like the Mick, who was the first player to hit a home run in the Astrodome, J.D. Martinez hit the first home run in Marlins Park.  In a season of rebuilding you look for bright spots where you can find him.

It also fun to compare yourself to a great ballplayer.  You can even use your bad habits to make them sound better.  Like if you're accused of being a horrible parent, just say, "yep, I'm just like Mickey Mantle."  Then quickly high-five someone. 

Me, I use to drink as much as Mickey Mantle.  So yeah, T. Sean = Mickey Mantle.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Baseball Card Friday: Lowell Palmer, Phillies 1970

This was one of my favorite cards as a kid.  My man Lowell was rocking some dark sunglasses and I thought it was cool.  As an adult I look back at this card and still think it's super cool.  I've done numerous paintings based on this card and here are three of them.

 This is Lowell Palmer Gray.
Lowell Palmer Black and White.  And lastly

Lowell Palmer on Fire.

Have a great weekend.  Go Astros.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Astros get a day off

Astros have a day off and head to Miami.  They're playing .500 ball after 6 games which is good.
Tuesday they rocked the old Colt .45's uniforms.  This is my team and sadly I can only name one guy in this picture, Jose Altuve because he's 5'4.

Spent the day filming Baseball Card Theaters.  I hope to start putting one up a week.  If you've never seen them you should check them out.

Here's a link to an episode called Not Cliff Johnson.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Jack Ass on the Baseball Diamond

Opening day at Dodger Stadium was amazing.  It's the 50th anniversary of Dodger Stadium so Maury Wills and others from the 62 Dodgers where there.  Dodgers won 2-1 thanks to an 8th inning homer by Andre Either.

In Baltimore on opening day a jack ass wearing a Batman mask, cape and underwear ran on to the field.  I'm not big on people running onto the field but this guy did it with style.  If you watch the video and want to fast forward, the cops tackle him around the 1 minute mark.  I don't like that it encourages other people to run on the field but this guy made me laugh and he pays for it too, which is of course the best part.

He's been banned for life from Camden Yards.  I'm pretty sure if he comes dressed as Bruce Wayne, no one will recognize him.

The best fan running on the field I've ever seen was a guy in Minute Maid Park last year.  Again, he did it with style.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Opening Day at Dodger Stadium

I'm going to see my first game of the season.  Clayton Kershaw is taking on the Pirates.  I'll be taking on a dodger dog, some nachos, and a Diet soda. 

Highlight alert:  Last night Oakland A's Josh Reddick gunned down a guy at third in a game against the Royals.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Ozzie Guillen-Castro-Rosenthal

Ozzie Guillen-Castro-Rosenthal

“I respect Fidel Castro. You know why? A lot of people have wanted to kill Fidel Castro for the last 60 years, but that [expletive] is still here.”
                                                                                                            Ozzie Guillen.
The most interesting about this statement to me is what’s the expletive?  Did he call him an asshole?  Dickhead?  Douche bag?  M'fer?
The media needs controversy and the easiest way to create it is to ignore what someone meant and focus on all the negative that can be sucked from it’s marrow.

Ken Rosenthal Gives His Two Cents

Ken Rosenthal says Ozzie should be suspended for his comments.  That’s the great thing about writing you can give your opinion on what should happen.  Here’s what I think should happen.

I think Ken Rosenthal should be physically intimidated for his article.  If you see him in an elevator, anyone over 5’5 should glare down at him silently, then slowly back him into a corner.
If you see Ken in the commissary, I think you should wait till he sits at your table and then everyone should get up and move to a different table.
If you see him in the parking garage I think you should yell “There’s the squirrel.”  Then start walking towards him in a threaten manner and make him run to his car.
Ken Rosenthal missed out on character-building beatings as a child and I think anyone with a time machine should go back in time and give little Kenny a nice ass whipping.  
As for Guillen's statement.  It's Ozzie.  I know what he meant.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Baseball Card Friday: Claude Raymond 66 and 67 Houston Astros

The Astros open their 50th season in baseball today so I present Claude Raymond with his zipper down two years in a row.  Sometimes they re-use pictures from earlier years but that's not the case here.  Two different stadiums, two different times of day, both times Claude's pants are open for business.
After these two cards, Claude Raymond's baseball cards just featured his head.  The big head.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Baseball has it's 3rd Opening Day of the 2012 Season, just one more to go

Today I got up to watch day 3 of opening day.  2 of the best fire-ballers in baseball face off.
Verlander vs Beckett Lester?  Still a good game to watch, but I wanted to see heat.  Never heard why Josh Beckett didn't pitch.

Under the category of I don't want to be a hater...
Last Nights Opening Day for Major League Baseball

Last nights first pitch with Muhammad Ali was awkward and I felt bad for the guy and how he was presented.  Could they drive the cart any slower?  And then the PA announcer trying to get the ALI chant going.  That was a train wreck.

I know it's a new ballpark so that explains the below par camera work.  But this is the big opening night.  There was a close pick off play and they never re-showed it.   

Did ESPN really need to jet Orel and the gang from Miami to call the game today.  I miss Jon Miller and Joe Morgan.  I still don't understand why people violently disliked Joe Morgan.  Still don't know why we traded him for Tommy Helms. (pictured above)

Why does ESPN let people gather behind their announcer and chant and scream during the pregame and rap up show?  Has that ever worked or helped a show?  I don't want to see drunk people screaming in the background ever, but especially when people are talking.  It doesn't help the announcers or the viewing audience at home, but it seems standard practice for ESPN shows.  It's everything horrible about going to the stadium brought into my home.  Thank you?

And so tomorrow, Friday April 6th, is the REAL OFFICIAL OPENING DAY FOR BASEBALL because that's when the Astros play their first game.  We're only a half-game back of the Cardinals.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Opening Day For Baseball... kind of

If you don't count the two games, A's vs Mariners in the Tokyo Dome last week then today is opening day. 

And to start the year off right, not counting the two games played last week, it's the classic match up of St. Louis vs. Miami.  That's how your kicking things off?

Last year football kicked off with New Orleans vs Green Bay.  I remember that and I'm not a big football guy.  It was an event. 

What is baseball thinking?

Couldn't get Kansas City to play Seattle?  Oh wait, you got Oakland to play Seattle last week. When the season started and then stopped again and now it's starting again.


Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Josh Reddick

Don't know much about this guy.  Saw him strike out in a game last night against the Giants and he tossed his bat and threw down his helmet.  Josh was still mad about chasing a bad pitch for strike two.  I like his intensity.  If he can channel that, he's going to have a great career.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Nyjer Morgan

2012 prediction.

I predict Nyjer Morgan will get suspended for a few games this year, I don't know exactly what he'll do but that guy is a squirrel.